Balance...

I began the week by helping a friend edit an article on Balance, and is often the case, their article got me thinking about the subject. By week's end I found myself completely and utterly out of balance.

I looked at my workload and realized that I'm leaving the office accomplishing almost everything on my to-do list, but I'm not completing each task to satisfaction. The next day, I'm starting in the hole, as it were, and by the end of my day I'm exhausted and frustrated. I've become reactive rather than proactive.

That's really unlike me. There are always projects that I'm juggling, that's business, but I'm an insatiable list maker. I use my white board for daily tasks, weekly goals, monthly projects. I'm usually able to stand in the middle of the storm and work down my lists, but recently it's just not the case.

What happened? Where did the balance go?

First thing I decided to do was focus my attention on the problem. Great! That would restore balance. I'd look at the most pressing projects and knock them out first. I'd re-prioritize the lists. I spent the afternoon drawing up my new plan only to leave the office even more behind (because I'd been planning instead of doing).

Second try at the problem. I started at the top of the list and worked my way down. Locked the door, don't get interrupted and just get back to square one. Great! That would restore the balance. I was late for a meeting and showed up woefully unprepared.

Alright. Focusing on one part of the problem was not the solution. Isolating myself from the realities of the work place was clearly not the answer either. So what lessons are there to draw from magick that could help right this very unbalanced ship?

"And first do no harm". Most pagans are familiar with this phrase. I often think of it to mean doing no harm to "them out there" but it applies to self-harm as well. I have not been kind to myself recently. I have not been eating as well - actually I eat well just not often enough -and without good food to sustain me my energy drops dramatically. I've not been sleeping well. This is due in part to leaving the office late, making my two-hour commute even longer, not relaxing at home and not getting to bed at a reasonable hour.

I've also noticed that I'm forgoing the activities that really make life worth living - sitting with friends, talking with my kids, sitting by an outdoor fire and going for hikes in the glorious hills around my home.

The old saying "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!" has never been truer. And interestingly enough, I know that most successful executives take time to be themselves away from the rigours of the office. I've made it a practice over the years to re-charge my batteries often just by taking a little time for myself once a month (the gods know I have the sick time and vacation time just sitting there!).

Balance doesn't come by shifting my attention from one project to another. Shift your weight on bicycle from side to side and your likely to fall off.

Balance can't come from ignoring problems or the workload. Stuffing the closet full of problems only works for so long and then one day you open the closet and it all comes pouring out.

Balance, I believe, comes from...well, being balanced. There is a time for work and a time for rest and they need to be honoured equally.

Magick in action...

Picture yourself with a group of people. A circle is formed and a hush descends over those gathered. A leader steps forward and announces the intention of the working ahead. They ask all in attendance to take a deep breath, release the concerns of the day, and focus on the present. All gathered are now responsible for their own actions and feelings and they know the rules of the ritual.

Over the next hour each person is asked to reflect some aspect of the Elements - A display of fiery passion, perhaps, or a demonstration of water in the form of fluid change. The course of the working is directed to a build up of energy that is to be released at the conclusion of the ceremony. That energy, created in sacred space, is to go beyond the circle and the present moment and affect changes - some large and immediately noticeable, some subtle with far reaching, long-term results.

As the ritual draws to a close, the leader instructs everyone that the circle is open yet unbroken and bids everyone to part and meet another time.

Seems like a pretty standard Pagan ritual, but this took place in my office. It's how I try to run my meetings. I do this because I know it is effective - I've seen it work in sacred space over and over again. So how does one create a circle without creating a Human Resources nightmare? Let me break down the process.

The meeting (ritual) begins at a certain time. Once everyone is in my office (the break room, the boardroom, wherever). I explain why we're meeting (intention) and I lay out the guidelines for discussion (rules of the ritual). Everyone is asked to take a minute and let their last phone call, email conversation drop away (grounding, centering, focusing). This meeting has one purpose and one purpose only and it's now beginning (the circle is cast).

The exchange of ideas, the problem solving is happening (energy). Each participant is there for a purpose and I expect everyone to contribute to the conversation. As we reach conclusions or consensus, I re-iterate why we're there and what we're trying to accomplish together (directing energy). As the group creates the plan of action I ask for each person to tell me how they are going to take ownership of the plan and implement it in their department (releasing the energy from the circle).

As the meeting draws to a close, I thank everyone for their time, remind them that our meeting will have an affect on our company's success. I let them know that they are free to leave or hang out with me for a few minutes (opening the circle). I thank them for their time and let them know I'm looking forward to the next meeting (merry meet, merry part...you get the idea!).

A week in the woods...

I recently took some time off. The word "vacation" doesn't really seem to fit, at least not in the conventional sense. Vacation was the easy, formal way of telling people that I wasn't going to be at the office for a few days and that I couldn't be reached.



Curiosity got the better of me and so I looked up the word "vacation" on dictionary.com. Here's what it says, and I've paraphrased a bit:

Vacation - a part of the year, regularly set aside, when normal activities are suspended.


Sweet breath of the Goddess, did you say a mouthful there dictionary.com!



The simple explanation I gave to most of my co-workers was that I was going to the Mendocino forests to get away from it all. A week out in nature with my partner, camping, hiking and enjoying the peace of the forest. A few persistent questioners found out that I was going on a retreat. One or two figured out it was a "Spiritual" retreat. Although all of those descriptions were completely true, I did leave out the bit about being in the company of one hundred or so other Pagans that would be attending Camp also.

I could fill pages and pages of the blogosphere with my impressions of Camp but they'd all lose something in the translation. The entire experience was so incredibly rich and textured. The layers of the teaching were both perfectly in the moment and have continued to reveal themselves to me since returning. I use that word, returning in the broadest understanding because, the reality of the situation is that I don't feel I have come back.

To put that another way, I brought so much more of me back from camp and left a great deal of what I choose not to be up there in the ashes of the ritual fires. I discovered amazing, wonderful, terrifying, powerful aspects of myself. My relationship with the Pagan community at-large has been deepened. My devotion to my partner has never been greater, and my sense of purpose never clearer. Having said all of that, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, as if I no longer fit in here. Everyday concerns seem concurrently incredibly important and completely immaterial. I vacillate between feeling hyper-connected to everyone and everything and vacant...actually, not vacant but empty. And empty in the best way possible, like a vessel waiting to be put to good use.

The whole Camp experience focused on the idea of transformation. Transformation whether you're ready for it or not. That statement sums up nicely where I've been in my personal life for many months - ready to transform, changing imperceptibly, but moving nonetheless. I've had this notion of transitioning from one male archetype to another. I'm no longer the adolescent or warrior type and I'm certainly not ready to be the sage, old magician. I seem to be stuck in between which, to we Pagans, is where we do some of our best work - between the worlds.

Professionally speaking, my company is in a transition period too and that's where I can take the magick of this Camp and bring it to the very mundane office world.

Each step in the transformative process causes upheaval. Each step creates a certain amount of discomfort, ranging from a slight period of adjustment to new circumstances to outright, excruciating pain. I've heard that even changes for the better, start off by being uncomfortable.

How we manage those periods of change is crucial to the survival of the business. If I allow myself or the parts of the company that I'm responsible for to fall into chaos during the changes, the company and I will suffer. Chaos in our company might manifest as lowered revenues, fewer sales, loss of staff, or poor communication with ourselves and our clients. If I can ground, center and shepherd in these changes from a place of understanding - understanding that some days will be easy an some will be volatile - we won't get caught up in upswells and downturns.

My work is to personally model what we want the company to look like after the transition, you know...Like Attracts Like stuff!

Magick in the work place...always more to do!

Elements in the office...

A company executive walked into my office the other day. I'd been on vacation for a week and she was just itching to catch me up on the office happenings. After a few minutes of finding out which proposals were accepted, and what sales figures were up or down, and who was catching the crap for it, there was a pause...She walked over to my office altar, grabbed the smooth piece of wood I have there and asked, "so is this a Rune stick or something?"



Several thoughts collided in my brain on the way to my mouth. Each one struggling to be the first to get out into the room.



Thought Number One, a particularly volatile creature, wanted to say something about being offended and that picking up things from an altar just isn't cricket. The phrase actually welling up from the depths wasn't quite that polite, contained several expletives and would have landed me a lovely trip to the Human Resources department.



The Second thought rambled on ad nauseum and had something to do with mindfulness, altar etiquette and well, what do you expect if you leave sticks and candles and lovely shiny objects in the office? This reasonable, well meaning voice was quickly drowned out by the Third voice who won the "Well, nobody ever expects me to pop up and be first out, so here I go" award.



"It's not a Rune stick actually" floated out into the space between the office visitor and myself. Followed by "Do you know something about the Runes?"



They didn't. It was something they'd read about and thought I might know something more on. Sort of the way somebody at a party might say to you "So did you catch that great game last night?" They didn't watch the game themselves but you're a fan of that team and it seemed like a pretty easy way to break the ice.



I composed myself, asked the various thoughts bouncing around in my head to "please shhhh" and said "Actually, no. It's one of the elements. You might notice I have something representing water, fire, air and center as well".



My co-worker wanted to know why I had them at work and what they meant. Here's what I said.



Wood: This represents the Earth. It's solid. It's represents the foundation. I hold this piece of bark and it reminds me that this company has a foundation. We have ideals and a company philosophy that we can refer back to when the business feels out of control. The Earth supports everything we are and everything we do. Throughout the day I'll hold this piece of bark (actually or in my thoughts). Occasionally I believe the company acts in a way that diminishes its foundation or, at the very least, seems not to be grounded in our best interests. Sometimes it falls to me to bring the company back to level footing. I check in with myself and confirm that my own foundation is trustworthy first, before commenting. That is how I use Earth in the workplace.



Seashell: This represents the Water. Water is fluid. In motion. Constantly changing. Water both follows the landscape and creates it at the same time. Tides ebb and flow. This is also the nature of our company. There are times when we are awash with terrific ideas and other times when our brain trust well is empty. Employee situations, programs, Executive actions come and go and we must know when to let them float away if they don't serve. I also know that throughout the day, I'm likely to be entrenched in an issue. I reflect on water and see how I am showing up in that situation. Am I the rock in the middle of the bay being pounded by the waters? Am I drowning in an unforgiving sea? Am I shaping the course of the company or am I at low-tide, out of ideas and stagnant? Water reminds me that eventually all of the hard times are washed out to sea and every obstacle, no matter how insurmountable, can be worn down to sand. That is how I use water at work.



Feather: This represents the air. Like Water, there's motion here but it's different. You can't see the air move but you can see the effects of it. Leaves blow around, stuff gets moved from here to there, and on a rare occasion a big enough gust can topple you over. Air can also represent the breath. When the wind starts blowing around the office, so to speak, I stop and take a breath. If I can calm my breathing, perhaps I can bring a calmer breeze to the situation. After the roaring blasts of the hurricane subside, there is still breath. And I mean that... still...breath. Air can also mean lightheartedness and play too. I remind myself that a good laugh is great medicine. And, like water, Air can blow away the crap gathered in the corner and make room for fresh ideas. This is how I use Air at work.



Candle: This represents fire. Passion (professionally speaking), inspiration, the heat generated in good debate (or not so good debate). It's the spark of motivation that can ignite the sales team. It's that great rush and whoosh of the flames as an idea begins to catch and then takes over the company is a fabulous conflagration. It also burns! My temper can be hot and my words can singe like spitting embers. Some fires are dying out and need more fuel to sustain them. I've been known to burn the candle at both ends and that is ultimately not good for me or the company. Thinking about fire, reflecting on what I hold in my hands reminds me to look at my own fire. Am I burning brightly as a beacon for others to be guided by or am I a destructive forest fire? Do I need to become an impenetrable wall of flame to defend an idea? This is how I use Fire throughout the day.



Space: The circle represents Center. It's in the middle. Calm. From the center one can see each of the elements surrounding. The center contains nothing and everything. From the center I can choose clearly which battles to fight, schedule meetings, act as an mediator between departments, unattached to the outcome of the debate. Center is where I need to operate from when going into a negotiation or preparing a presentation for the Executive Committee. Center is where I make good decisions. Another way of saying center is balance and a company needs a certain about of balance to operate properly. Reflecting on center throughout the day reminds me that others may not be centered, I might not be centered and most decisions entered into when I'm/we're not balanced turn out poorly in the end.



After fifteen minutes or so of this conversation, my inquisitive visitor left with a better understanding of my altar and the elements. I sat in my office and thought about what I'd said and how often I forget to pick up the items on my altar and regard them as the living embodiments of what I try to practise each day.



May your work days be blessed.